Incandescence
“Grab me a beer while you are up.” He said not looking away from the video games.
“I am not going to the kitchen. If you want a beer get it your damn self.” I scoffed as I went in the opposite direction. He grated on my every nerve. I can’t believe he was friends with Craig. Everyone is so impressed that my brother is friends with Cesc Fabregas. I was highly unimpressed with everything about him.
He was always so up in everyone’s business, thinking he was so funny. “Well grab me one anyway.” He laughed. I stopped dead in my tracks and strangled the air in front of me. I took a deep breath and smoothed my tight fitting red shirt over my jeggings. I walked back in and through the room to the kitchen. I took out a beer and walked back into the room. I flopped on the couch and popped the top on the bottle. I took a swig and raised an eyebrow at Cesc. “Rude.” He played. I mocked.
“Hey Angelle,” Craig smirked, “You can get comfortable. Will isn’t coming over. Go put on your pj’s and put your hair up and look like you normally do.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” I played off. Well shit. He was the only reason I was even tolerating Cesc for the time that I did. “I will be back in a minute.” I stood up and walked away.
“I am still waiting for that beer.” He again laughed like it was a joke.
My brother and I lived in a flat together in London. Our parents agreed to foot the bill for a place to live if and only if Craig and I shared a place. Luckily, Craig and I mostly got along. I threw on my dad’s old Arsenal hoodie and an pair of black leggings. I grabbed my large gray wool socks and threw them on. They were so large they looked like legwarmers. Quickly I put my hair up in a short ponytail. I let out my breath and shot it up through my bangs.
Will was the only boy I have ever had a crush on. He was Craig’s friend since they were nine. Maybe growing up I should have thought of him more like an older brother, be he was always so nice to me and he used to make Craig let me play with them. Even as we got older he would always make the time to talk to me. It’s only natural that I developed a crush on him. Wasn’t it?
I walked back into the living room. “Well, if you’re not bringing me a beer at least you are wearing something that pleases me.” Craig paused the game and gave him an evil look. “She is wearing an Arsenal hoodie!” Craig looked up at me and rolled his eyes. “Can I finish kicking your ass now?”
I sat down and watched them play more. I got up and went to the kitchen. Cesc said nothing about a beer this time. I rolled my eyes and grabbed a beer for him and some biscuits for myself. I hate boys. I caught my reflection in the mirror. Maybe someday Will will see me as more than Craig’s sister. Not like this. I caught myself thinking back to New Year’s Eve a couple of years ago when Will was hammered and kissed me. It was actually my first kiss. He had told me that I was pretty and that he always thought so then he kissed me before leaving with another girl.
I walked back into the room where Cesc was dancing in celebration of yet another win against my brother. As he spun around I smacked him in the chest with a beer. “You brought me a beer!!!” He picked me up and spun me around. “You DO like me!” He laughed.
“I’ve brought you things before.” I laughed. “Put me down.”
“Yeah but never as nice as you just did.” He laughed. “Mostly you just throw things at my head.”
He put me down and walked over the couch and sat down. “That’s because it’s so big that it’s the easiest target I have.”
“Oh ego burn!” Cesc laughed and shook his hand. “Ouch.” I squinted my eyes at him.
“Man, that is my sister, stop flirting with her.” Craig hit him in the back with a pillow.
“Ew. Just Ew.” I said as I curled up to my pillow. “Ew.” I repeated.
“Did your sister just ew me?” He was looking around like it was possibly the most incomprehensible thing he had ever heard of. “She ew’d me.”
“I am certain it is NOT the first time that has ever happened.” I rolled my eyes.
“I am charming damn it! I am the Cesc!” He winked.
I shuddered. “So wrong.” I laughed.
“No, really that is my name.” He nodded as if he was serious. “Nickname actually.” He nodded again.
“Craig,” I groaned. “Aren’t you both going out?”
“Why do you have plans for a sad girl movie and tears of the lonely little girl?”
“Rude.” Cesc said quickly.
“No, Cesc,” I shook my head “it’s totally true.” I pointed to the table where The Holiday was sitting. “I have designated girl movie nights.”
“She would have come out with us if Will had come out.” Craig laughed.
I shot anger in his direction. “Really Craig? Really?”
“Quit trying to act as if you don’t fawn all over him.”
“I don’t!” I crossed arms.
“You do.” He laughed.
“Shut up!”
“Yeah Craig shut up! Be nice to your sister.” Cesc chimed in.
“Don’t stick up for me. I can take care of myself.”
“Yeah and it usually sounds like…” He imitated a humming noise and then some quiet moans.
My jaw dropped. “OH MY GOD Craig!” I caught a look at Cesc’s face and he was turning bright red and looking away from me but laughing. I hid my face. “You are an asshole.”
“Someday Ang. Someday.” He was laughing about as hard as he had ever laughed. He loved to make me the punchline of most jokes as brothers do. I only tolerate it because he would be the first to step in front of a bullet for me or punch a guy out for me.
“You are such a fucking tool.” I said as I stood up and walked back to my room to wait for them to leave. Lying down on my purple suede comforter I looked up at the ceiling and tried to figure out why I was consistently alone. Twenty years old and never had a boyfriend. I am not ugly. Actually I always thought I was rather cute. I am smart, I am nice to people. I sighed as it came into my head again. I would forever be in love with Will.
There was a small knock on my door. “What?” I yelled. The door slowly opened and I looked up as no one spoke. Cesc had his eyes covered and was “looking” around the room. “Oh, it’s you.” I said with obvious annoyance at his mere presence. “Why the hell are your eyes covered?”
“I don’t know what you are doing in here!” He smiled.
“Ha Ha. You and Craig are so funny.” I kicked my legs and sat up.
He turned pink again and uncovered his eyes. “I meant like girl things like trying on skirts or something.”
I blinked at him. That sentence stopped me and any thought process I had going. “Trying on skirts?”
“I don’t know what you girls do behind closed doors.” He laughed.
“Yes, we try on skirts and dresses and then were dance around and sing into hairbrushes in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear. When are you guys leaving so I can go watch my movie?”
He was looking away with pink hue still clinging to his cheeks. “I wanted to double check and see if you wanted to come out with us. You can. We won’t mind.”
“Thank you. No. My idea of a nice night is NOT being out with you and Craig. Really, thanks.” I rolled my eyes and flopped back onto the bed.
“Your room is pretty nice.” He picked up my magic 8 ball. “Fun.”
“You have seen it before Cesc.” I stood up and walked over to the door. I motioned for him to leave but he walked further in. He was always so intrusive.
“You should come out with us though.” He continued picking things up and looking at them. He smiled as he held a horse toy in his hands. He made a neighing sound and made it gallop. “Neat.” He put it back down.
“Cesc. Come on!” He yelled from the other room. “You are taking forever what are you doing anyway!?”
I looked down the hallway and then back at Cesc. Cesc continued on playing with this and touching everything. “I think Craig wants to leave.” I nodded but his back was to me. “You should go.”
He paged through my calendar. “Your birthday is next month?” He turned and looked at me.
“Yes.”
“Am I invited to the party?” He looked at the pictures on my calendar. “Koalas.” He giggled. “You like animals?”
“Cesc.” He was wearing his black jacket that was a cross between an old member’s only jacket and a motorcycle jacket. “You might want to go.”
“I’m good.” He turned and smiled. I rolled my eyes at him as he was just going through my things freely. “I like your stuff. You seem pretty interesting. Maybe you would want to… I don’t know.”
I raised an eyebrow. He stopped talking and looked at a picture of me with braces smiling full force wearing horribly bad clothes. But it was taken at camp and I loved that picture. “Maybe I would what?”
“Maybe you would invite me to your birthday?”
“It’s a girl’s night.” I shrugged.
His dumb smile faded for a minute then returned quickly. “Geri’s woman always calls me a girl. I will be there. What time?”
“It doesn’t actually exist.” I made a larger motion for him to leave my room.
“You aren’t having a party?”
Again I made the same motion. He really is not the smartest man on the planet. “No. I am going to hanging out alone. One person. Me. Solo. The end.”
“Dude. What the hell are you doing in my sister’s room?” Craig came to the door wearing his coat as well. “I thought you were going to the bathroom.”
“I did.” He said as he stepped over my pile of underwear on the floor. “But I wanted to make sure that Angelle didn’t want to come out with us instead of being alone with sad chick flicks.” I quickly kicked the pile under my bed in case he turned and looked to see what it was.
“Obviously she isn’t coming. She is all grunged out now.”
“Obviously your sister is standing right here listening to your whole conversation.” I said as my hands peeped out of the sleeves. Cesc looked at me from the corner of his eyes and smiled with a tiny laugh. “Just take him away please. I want to have some me time.”
“Yeah I bet…” Cesc pushed Craig in the back as he was about to make the same joke as earlier.
I pushed Cesc in the arm. “Just get out of my sight both of you.”
“Seriously Angelle, come out with us.” Craig stopped and looked at Cesc as he tried to get me to come out again.
“Thank you, no.” I had been following them slowly.
“Come on. Being out with the boys, drinking, having fun, and maybe a little dancing…” He pursed his lips and proceeded to dance very poorly.
To my surprise, it made me laugh heartily. “No. Now go. Get out.”
“Cesc, come on. She doesn’t want to come out. Let’s go.” He tried to pull Cesc out.
“Is this a real no or a girl no?” He raised an eyebrow.
“It’s a now get the fuck out.” I pushed him toward Craig.
“Fine. Next time, the three of us. It will be a blast.” He winked. I rolled my eyes and started walking to the couch. “Or just give me a call and we can go out.”
“Seriously, that is my sister. Do NOT look at her like that.”
“Like what?”
“You know how you looked at her.” Their voices were hushed but I could still hear them easily.
“I looked at her like she should come out with us.”
“That’s another thing. Did you just ask her out?”
“No!” Cesc said at normal volume.
“You kind of did.”
“No. I was just saying if she ever wants to go out….”
“Yeah, you asked my sister out.”
“Not even close. She has no friends.”
“I have friends, asshole. I just don’t see them every second of every day!” I didn’t even bother to turn around. “I like being alone. Is that okay? I like watching movies by myself while my brother and his jackass thinks that he is awesome friend go out get drunk and play wingman for each other. Now would you leave??”
“She told me.” Cesc laughed.
“Dude! I am not going to tell you again, if I see that look on your face about my sister one more time…”
“Fine. I really have no idea what you are talking about though.”
I spun around from the couch and pointed at the door. “GO!” They both laughed and walked out the door. “Talk to me Iris.” I said quietly as I hit play.
